OK, Lucca's Italian Deli on Valencia and 21st (or is that 22nd?) is the widely-known go-to place for your ravioli, your tortellini, your salumi, your grissini.... Their regular sandwiches are not outrageously priced - most are six bucks for a hard or soft roll packed with aged asiago and spicy copa (our personal fave combination).

Seriously. You can only take your out o' towners to stare at the tree in Union Square for so long. When they demand more tourist crap, here's where to take them for a good chuckle: Pier Freakin' 39. Put them "onstage" on the Magic Carpet Ride, a simulated journey through SF via video blue screen, and watch the playback for nada. Sure, your grandmother could buy the DVD for forty bones, but your five minutes of fame is free to make and view.

OK, this one is untried, so don't sue me if it doesn't work out, 'kay? I hate to promote the cafe around the corner yet again; I'm not only cheap, but lazy, too. But here's why you won't be annoyed long: There's a sign in the window for a lawyer who sets up shop at the cafe in the evenings offering legal advice for a buck-a-minute. If you have a quick question or just want someone to look over a contract or something, you would be hard-pressed to find cheaper wisdom of the law.

Haight Street used to have The Free Store. Today, we have the Really Really Free Market. Title says it all - bring it, take it; everything is free. We've seen 8-track tapes, clothing, household goods, bread, and milk, and tools, in addition to everything else under the sun.

Sunday, November 18th -- 8pm
951 Hudson, Bayview District

Saturday, November 24th -- 1-5pm
Dolores Park, SF

Hey, yo. Yet another brother of another mother when it comes to making those pennies squeal. Mr. Broke Ass is hosting an event at the Rickshaw with bands and food and a hefty $1 admission. Check it!
http://www.brokeassstuart.com/home/home.html

A free martini here, a low-cost back rub there...saving moula is good fun in the Bay Area, but it's nearly impossible to save a serious chunk of change on everyone's biggest expense - housing. We are not, however, totally without a few possibilities. Of course there's the roommate solution: Just how many people can you cram into a 3BR flat before the landlord catches on?

Yo, cheapies...I will be a la radio shilling in the name of tightwadery. Listen as I trip over my own tongue! Tune in as I undoubtedly say something that will get me sued...

Wednesday, Nov. 14
KFOG, 104.5
8:15 - 8:35am (I know, it's early)
http://www.kfog.com/morningshow/

Dolores Park Cafe, Dolores and 18th St., is giving away free coffee all day. And, better still, they're open until 10pm tonight.

PG&E is giving away free CFL light bulbs this month - a million in all. SF, here's where to get yours:

Thursday, Oct. 11, Richmond District Neighborhood Center, 741 30th Ave., 3:30-5:30

Saturday, Oct. 13, Union Square, Geary & Stockton, 10-5

Sunday, Oct. 14, Monster Park, 9:30-12

Monday, Oct. 15, Ping Yuen, 838 Pacific Ave., 9:30-3:30

Wednesday, Oct. 17, PG&E, 2270 Folsom @ 18th Street, 11-2, AND Excelsior Family Connection Center, 459 Vienna Street, 2-4

Thursday, Oct. 18, West Portal Muni Station, 7:30-9:30am, AND Sunset Beacon Center, Sunset @ Ortega, 2-5

If Dr. Google is your primary care physician, and you're more likely to see Dr. Pepper than some guy with a stethoscope, fear not:

The SF Free Clinic lives up to its name based on availability, provided you have no insurance of any kind. They do wellness check-ups for kids and adults, disease screening, reproductive services, etc. on a pay-what-you-can basis. Appointments are an absolute must.

San Francisco Free Clinic
4900 California St
San Francisco, CA 94118
(415) 750-9894
sffc.org